If you don't like someone, this is the reason

There's another thing I probably should be talking about today - the effect that loss has on your psyche - but I also feel like talking about it would be inconsiderate to the memory of the departed, so let's talk about Abraham Lincoln instead.

He said:

I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.

I'm usually good at stepping into other people's shoes and constructing the narrative from their point of view. But sometimes there's someone who's so annoying or talks so condescendingly that I completely forget that I have this handy tool in my service.

The moment you don't want to see things from their perspective, you dislike them too much for your own good, and thus, it is exactly the moment where the opportunity for the greatest personal growth lies.

So here's my Lincoln inspired hack: when you don't like someone, imagine them as the best person in the world. Assign to them all the good qualities and characteristics you value in a person. Picture them polite and respectful and positive in your head. And most importantly: imagine that they like you.

It's very hard to dislike people who like you. Use this to your advantage. Imagine the person you don't like as a good person that you're friends with and who likes you. Act out scenes in your head if you need to. Your subconscious will believe what it sees.

RK

P.S. An important caveat: one case where you might dislike people who like you is if it goes overboard and they become clingy. If you want the hack to work, don't imagine the people you want to stop disliking as clingy towards you. That would only feed your neurotic need to push them down.