My neighbor gave me unsolicited advice

RK -

You know how some people will tell you their whole life story, if you just shut up and listen? Well, I have a neighbor who is like this. Getting a dog has been a massive life change, and not only because of his daily needs, but because he's the ultimate ice breaker when it comes to relations with neighbors and other dog owners.

Neighbors I've never spoken to come to speak with us now, admiring the puppy and asking questions about him. Some of them tell us what kinds of dogs they've had in the past. Some try to get the puppy to sniff their fingers.

And then there's this one elderly neighbor who cares less about the puppy and more about telling us everything he's ever thought in his life. He's told us how he had dogs and horses back in the day; which hobbies he enjoys in his retired days; and what he did for a living before retiring.

The other day, he ventured further to give us youngsters some unsolicited advice. It was very profound. Here it is:

When you turn 60, start thinking about what you'll do in retirement, because if you don't, you'll be in trouble.

I found this interesting for a couple of reasons:

  1. He made it sound like he himself hadn't thought about his retirement activities until he actually retired, and had got into psychological trouble because of it.
  2. I've been aware of the dangers of idleness for years and years now, having written several e-books about it (like The Stress of Leisure and Shield Against Depression) and I find it incredible that someone would not realize this until in their sixties.

After remarking the solution to him - that one should never retire - some additional questions popped into my head:

  1. Why did you wait until you were sixty to think about this? Why should we wait until then?
  2. Why did you choose a career that you'd even want to retire from?
  3. Why do you seem to hate life?

But, of course, I said none of this out loud, since I could read the answers right off his face and general character.

For the record, his unsolicited advice was both right and wrong:

Right: if you're going to retire at all, having something meaningful to do is crucial to your mental health and life expectancy.

Wrong: you don't have to retire at all, and definitely don't wait until you're sixty to think about what you'll do - because what if you come up with a project that you could and should have started decades ago?

RK out.