Redefining the defining characteristics of Hogwarts houses

I was visiting an excellent bookstore in the old town of Stockholm the other day and, as per my usual routine, browsed through their Harry Potter section. They have all kinds of fan stuff there, including scarves and notebooks for each house. Whenever we're around house-specific HP stuff like that, my partner likes to remind himself of the defining characteristics of each house - either to check with me if he remembers them correctly, or to invent his own. A few days later he discussed the topic with my sister, who also had some original ideas. Here are their combined conclusions:

Gryffindor: foolhardy, takes stupid risks that end up killing him.

Hufflepuff: a stoner, simple-minded.

Ravenclaw: the nerd, the fourth wheel.

Slytherin: absolute evil.

Sounds about right.

RK out.