A letter to Santa (51 days until Christmas 2019)

Today, it's 51 days until Christmas day this year. To continue the tradition of last year, I shall write a letter to Santa. I warmly recommend you write one yourself! Here goes mine.

Dear Santa,

what's up? I understand you probably don't have time to write a reply so I'll just assume you're good and busy. I know I am. I have lots to do, all the time in the world to do it, and I love the whole hustle wholeheartedly.

To be honest, I have a confession. I haven't been fuzzing about Christmas this year nearly as much or as early as last year. I mean, I baked an entire gingerbread village last year at the 100 day mark, and this year, I've hardly started making a list of gift ideas. But I have my reasons to not having done more. Firstly, I've been working on projects in my own company, and that work never ends. Secondly, I feel like I missed some of the December magic last year, having done too much too early. So this year I'm saving my excitement for the Christmas month.

Remember last year when I said I'd lost 22 lb? Well, I'm not sure of the exact number, but I think I gained some, if not most of it, back recently. You see, I think I developed an eating disorder called ortorexia. I became obsessed with eating healthy to the point that I wasn't enjoying my life anymore; just thinking about food 24/7. I finally decided to break the pattern last July and started eating less healthy to teach my body that food is just fuel, that there are more important things to do than to optimize nutrition. In the process, I ate a lot of ice cream. I'm not sure if I should keep this up or start shifting towards healthier foods. On the one hand, I wouldn't like to have that ice cream around my waist and thighs forever. On the other hand, I don't want to fear and avoid certain foods obsessively for the rest of my life. So I'm still working on this.

Also - exciting news! I have my last day tomorrow in my day job! I have to take the rest of the year off (obligatory yearly vacation days), and then, I'm completely on my own and work for myself in my own company full time. I'm so excited about this, partly because from tomorrow on, every penny I make is a penny in my own pocket and not in some other company's, and partly because I don't know how my psyche will react to not getting a regular paycheck. I'm afraid - in a good way. I seriously couldn't be more excited to finally cut all safety nets and grind my butt off to make this work.

So what have I achieved since my last letter a year ago? Let's see. I finished the novel I talked about, and wrote and published another. I also wrote and published my second poetry collection. Not to mention that I packed a year's worth of WIP articles into one book and published it! And finally, last month, I published my first cookbook. Apart from publishing books, I finished the one year of daily WIP articles and WIP videos; I created a food blog; I started selling my photography on Alamy; and I founded a shop on Etsy.

And finally one thing I feel is my biggest achievent this year: I, with the essential help from my partner, had an epiphany that made me a better person and a better spouse. It set my priorities in order like never before. If I manage to not forget the epiphany and succeed in living according to it and integrating it into my principles, it'll easily make my list of proudest achievements in life. Easily.

For Christmas, I'm asking for peaceful and serene and happy time with my family. I'll do my part - which usually is enough, I'm such a fuzzy Christmas enthusiast - and hopefully life doesn't throw us too tricky curveballs during the holidays. Snow would also be nice, but not at all necessary.

Take care of yourself, even while working hard, and have a merry Christmas time with your family!

P.S. One of your elves walked in our elf door today. He's been sitting quietly on the bed all day, looking attentively around, and refusing to eat anything except gingerbread cookies. I was just wondering - is he here for work or on holiday?