A strange thing occurs more and more often now:
I get a vision, a flash in my mind, of a scenario, a situation, a place, with myself in it.
The visions remind me of Arrival somehow. It's like they are the future, definitely, without a doubt, yet they're here right now, yet it's not happened yet.
In front of the mirror in a specific dress.
In a penthouse suite, the lights of the city illuminating the dark indoors.
A dive into the sea from the pier of a Gothic mansion.
I immediately want to think that they are the future, the kind of future I'm on my way towards.
That they'll happen with a hundred percent certainty if I stay on this path.
What's more, they're all good. They make me feel good. They're... ideal, in some sense. The me in them is the ideal me.
The me in them is also much more feminine than I seem to be right now. But then again, I've found myself brainwashing myself on elegance and femininity lectures lately. So perhaps that is me, regardless of my current, harsh, go-getter self.
And I have to admit that I feel a lot less guilt than I used to feel. You know, the guilt that still haunted me in March and April.
It might be because I work more. Or because I've learned to let go and step into my feminine essence more than before.
And I like it.
I think I might like it for a very long time.
RK
