Hello. It's me. So guess what. I've been editing the first draft of my first novel of the year all day. And all I can think is I'm the worst writer in the entire world and there's no way to save the story, even if I deleted every single adverb and every single unnecessary chapter and every single minor sentence that starts with a gerund.
The story is stupid. The idea is naive. It's told the wrong way. And I need a new narrator.
So basically, I need to write the whole thing again from scratch, so it becomes a new thing instead of a slightly better version of a lost cause.
Fuck.
Then again, I can't just stop here. I need to read the bloody thing through at least once before trashing it. And what if it gets better? What if only the beginning sucks? Then I need to figure out how to make the beginning match the rest. But most likely that's not the case.
Maybe if I have a shot of scotch every time it gets cringy? Maybe sucky novels aren't meant to be read with a cup of coffee?
RK
P.S. I know I've been clear before about not using language like this to talk to yourself. So please excuse me. I'm caught up in the moment. I'm sure I'll start loving the story soon enough. (NOOT)
