My extended family includes several old people. One of them I see regularly. He is an old man, although he seems even older than he really is. What makes him psychologically interesting is that
he has a overpowering need to teach or show how things are done. It's as if it was the only thing that he could think of that would make his life meaningful anymore. In fact, his entire identity seems to be intertwined with this need.
Usually I play along with this. If he wants to explain how a travel card works, I listen patiently. After all, it really costs me nothing but time and boredom, but getting to explain how things work is immensely rewarding to him.
However, listening to his unprompted explanations is a completely different thing from having him instruct the use of some incredibly simple machine without me asking for the help. He didn't ask if I needed help. For a moment, I foolishly thought he would just stand there and let me do use the machine the exact same way I had used countless times in the past. But then he began explaining every step as they came, completely ignoring the fact that his pointing fingers were more in the way than of help. I got frustrated and decided to take a moment for myself to comment how little the cost was - which drove him absolutely crazy, pointing over and over again where I should now put my credit card, now now now, there there there, as if time were running out.
Now, I know he doesn't think I'm an imbecile. He would have done the same thing, had the person using the machine been anyone else. But in his subconscious, if there's something he knows how to do, he will ignore any question about other people's competence to do the same thing. What's important is that he thinks that he's teaching someone to do something he can do.
In retrospect, though, I could have let him have his moment. I could have pretended not only that I have never used the machine but also that I'm an idiot who cannot follow simple instructions as they appear on a screen. I could have specifically asked him if he knows how to use the machine, if he could guide me through it, where to press and what to choose and how to pay. I suppose it would have made his day. And I would have developed my patience.
Maybe I'll remember this, the next time a similar situation presents itself.
