I can feel it. It's right there. Standing in front of me. Blocking the way. Telling me anything to stop me from going forward.
It's so massive. I mean, I can't even see the door behind it. It's so much bigger than me. It's taller and wider and heavier than me. How am I ever going to tackle it?
What do I have that it doesn't?
It's like I'm David and it's Goliath and it's got force and weapons and I can't go near it and I'm supposed to find a stone and learn to use a sling and that's the only way to beat it.
Though now that I researched David and Goliath I learned that Goliath wasn't actually that hard to beat: it was clumsy and almost blind and the sling David had wasn't some children's toy but a deadly weapon.
What could I use as a sling? It should be something I already know how to use, or something that's relatively quick to learn how to use. Let's see.
Maybe fear swapping. I already know how to use it.
Religion. It could work.
Letting some unknown force flow through me and distinguish the obstacle. I mean, it's not really there, so this might be handy as well.
Reasoning? Haha, no. That never works.
A mantra. Yes. Like before.
Integrity, principles, values, self respect. I want to be able to fall asleep peacefully tonight, knowing I beat the obstacle and did the work. That I made today count. That I devoted my day to the cause. That I have what it takes to fight through.
That I'm not like the others, the losers, the ones who take one look at their Goliaths and back out, disappearing in their caves in which no light finds its way.
It might wound me. It might injure me. It might cause me fatal harm. But that's okay.
I'm not afraid of it. I'm afraid of the alternative. I'm afraid of wasting my time in a cave in which no light finds its way, never knowing neither victory nor defeat.
Beware, monster. Here I come.
RK
