I mentioned yesterday that I need to elaborate on my electric toothbrush purchase. To be honest, it's about time I talk about this. My dentophobia, that is. Or fear of the dentist, although I don't fear the person, but some other things.
But let's back up a bit and see where this all stems from.
When I was young, about 11, my permanent canine teeth started to grow on top of the adjacent teeth. There simply wan't enough room for them to grow between them. The dentist told me I needed braces, which was fine, and because my jaw was apparently too narrow to cater to all of the teeth I had, I was told that they would remove two small but permanent molars to make room for the canines to be set in the right places. Which I also thought was fine.
A few years later, when I was about 16, I was asked if I wanted to set my lower teeth straight as well - I was still a minor and thus the general dental insurance we have here would cover the cost (read: taxpayers would pay for the whole thing) - and having recovered mentally from the ordeal of the upper jaw braces, I agreed. I was told they would have to remove yet another permanent molar to make room for everything.
I can still vividly imagine how it felt to have a dentist hook into the tooth and wiggle it around with force to get it off. I can hear the sound in my ears. I can feel the pain in my teeth, both during the process and afterwards.
Let's just say that it's no wonder that my most common nightmares, still to this day, revolve around teeth.
I don't mind fillings. I have one and the process was fine. I don't even mind it when they scrape off tartar, although it's definitely not pleasant. I fear the removal of teeth. I still have my wisdom teeth, and I fear that if I do to the dentist, they will tell me I need to have them removed.
Thus, I rarely go to the dentist. Last time I went was several years ago. Everything was fine then, there was no need to do anything. But now the situation might be different. I have no obvious issues, no pain or anything like that, but it's been a while since my last checkup, and who knows what's going on beneath the surface.
I made an appointment for later this fall and have been preparing for the worst case scenario: that they tell me I need 15 fillings and all 4 wisdom teeth removed, and that they reprimand me for taking "such bad care of my teeth" (although I brush and floss twice a day and almost never ear sugar).
But anyway - I have a few weeks to sit in the fear and let it consume me. And to see if using my new electric toothbrush will help alleviate some of the fear.
The good news is that having this monster to look forward to, I have no fear whatsoever to go to get my blood work done tomorrow, even though it's always a real pain in the ass, since my veins are thick and slippery and they poke the needle around inside my arm - both arms, even though I tell them the left one is a lost cause - desperately trying to catch the vein, and it really does hurt.
All I can say is that life is good.
