I mentioned in the beginning of October that while I have dentophobia, I had made an appointment for a check-up at the dentist. I had scheduled the visit for the last days of November, so that I would have time to get used to the idea. I also wanted time to prepare myself mentally for the worst case scenario, which I was absolutely expecting: that I would have to get 15 fillings and have all my wisdom teeth removed.
Well, I had that appointment today.
I even shocked myself with how visceral my reaction was.
I did manage to get some sleep the night before. Sitting in the waiting room was quite all right. But the moment I stepped into the room with the chair and equipment and everything, I broke down completely.
I had notified the dentist beforehand that I have dentophobia, so he knew to expect something, although I don't know if he had expected such a visceral reaction from his patient. But he and his assistant were very understanding and explained how my childhood experiences had naturally affected my phobia and how we would just have to instill some positive experiences now to counteract them. He asked me questions about my dental history, clarified if I also feared fillings or removing calculus, and patiently let me explain (between sobs) how painful it had been to have teeth removed, and at such a young age, no less. He explained how children often feel out of control in such situations and that this can contribute to long lasting trauma. He seemed to understand completely, and I didn't feel like they judged me at all for my reaction.
Sitting in the chair while he inspected my teeth and took x-rays was easier - maybe because I had something to do, something to concentrate on, like the position of my tongue.
The x-ray images were ready almost instantly, and I waited for him to say the words: yeah, you need some fillings, and your wisdom teeth are rotten to the root, so they need to be removed. Or something along the lines of that.
Except that apparently, I had zero cavities. No caries at all. None. Not even in the beginning stages. All I had was some calculus, or tartar, and we scheduled another appointment for Friday to get rid of that, no problem. I asked about the wisdom teeth - no problems there either, plenty of space, no need to remove them.
Had I almost scared myself to death by reading fearmongering Reddit posts? I mean, I know I rarely eat sugar and have a good cleaning routine twice a day, but do you really mean to say that nothing bad had managed to develop beneath the surface during the 11 years since I last had a check-up? What the hell?
Well, I'll take it.
Thanks, God.
Really.
