Something I keep learning over and over again because I somehow manage to forget about it in between is that
if you're depressed, you think this is the way things are going to be forever; you don't remember how things have ever been better than this, or that things can actually be better than this once more.
Last week I was eating a lot of cruciferous vegetables. You know, because everyone knows they're healthy. And because I happen to find them absolutely delicious. I was eating steamed cauliflower and oven roasted broccoli and Brussels sprouts by the pound every day. (1 to 2 pounds per day, I think. Something like that.) I was having the time of my live eating those healthy and yummy treats. So I was somewhat reluctant to admit that my mental issues were due to them.
Mind you, I still don't know if the veggies were the reason for my regular low mood and sudden bursts of crying. There's a part of me that really, strongly wants to believe that veggies are good for me.
However, just to try and see what would happen, I decided to cut all veggies from my diet for the week and replace them with whatever I wanted, aka donuts and pudding and ice cream and cheese and whipped cream. And you know what? I've been so happy all week! I'm not moody, depressed, or feel like crying. And I find myself wondering how I could have felt so low last week. How could I have forgotten how wonderful life is?
Last week, in the depth of my momentary depression (which, in my opinion, is the function of an unhappy gut), I felt like all the happiness had been sucked of the world; that life had no meaning; and that I would never be happy or joyous again.
Sounds like the exact description of a Dementor, but as we Muggles can't see Dementors, I don't know if there actually was one. Or if it was just the veggies.
But now, all week this week, I've been so happy and full of life that I find it hard to think that I could have had those negative, Dementor-attack-like thoughts back last week. Just last week! How can your mindset change so quickly?
It seems it's just circumstantial. The hopeless thoughts were nothing serious, nothing lasting, only due to a Dementor, or the diet. But it sure as hell felt like something that would last forever. Because I couldn't even remember how things could be better.
Life's so interesting, don't you think?
RK
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