So what happens when you let go of order and creation and throw yourself into the arms of life and chaos and stay there long enough?
Life and chaos will throw you back.
Or, to be exact, life and chaos become so overwhelming that you start craving order and creation again. So much that you throw yourself back into their arms.
I got sick of eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, however much I wanted. Basically for me that meant a lot of ice cream, a little bread, some fries and aioli. The occasional slice of cheese. Several days I skipped dinner because I was stuffed with the ice cream.
Then, after a fortnight and a bad feeling that I was going downhill with both my physical and mental health, I decided to start eating "clean", meaning paleo and lentils in this case. I had oven roasted vegetables (including starchy ones) and almond butter fudge and coconut fudge and tuna and chicken and eggs for a week.
It wasn't enough. I craved something more. Something more challenging. So after the last pint of dairy-free Ben&Jerry's, I decided to go on the IBIH chicken soup diet again. I'd had splendid results with it before so I though I'd give it a try.
I'm writing this article in the evening of day 4 (of 5) of the diet. Here are some observations:
- I've felt great - like, I haven't cried of depression since the day before I went on the diet. (Then again, I've also taken up calisthenics and waking up at 5 and taking a morning run and listening to Bob Ross paint in the evenings, so I don't know the magnitude of the effect the diet has on this.)
- The food is great, but borning enough to make me crave ice cream and green cake like crazy. The cravings are fading every day, though.
- I don't know for sure but I feel like I've lost some weight.
So good things! Now that I have structure in my life again and things that require me to practice discipline, I feel better and myself again. And I appreciate it, although there's a risk it's all a false ideal again and soon enough I'll feel like this is too restrictive and I need to embrace creation again.
Perhaps in time I'll learn to combine the best of both.