I mentioned in the beginning of the month that I had started yoga a few days previously. My reasons to try 30 days of yoga were to learn to accept and appreciate my new curvier body. At the time of the article I had completed six yoga sessions and was already learning to let go of anguish, embrace the new curves, and get ready to have abs.
Perhaps I was so optimistic then because the whole yoga thing was something new, or because the learning curve was so darn quick, or because I actually enjoyed yoga. But as the weeks went by, doing one yoga session per day, things took a tricky turn.
At the same time, I felt like I wanted to quit yoga - because it didn't make me feel better anymore - and I felt like I couldn't quit yoga, because of the nice breakless chain of yoga days I had already achieved.
Towards the end, the sessions got so difficult that I was actively angry at Adriene for expecting me to do some of the asanas. My legs are too long in comparison to my torso for me to do the low boat like she does; I still can't do the forward fold properly, even after all these weeks; why can't she see that?
Naturally I understand that she has never met me and doesn't know I'm watching her video and that it's my fault I've listened to her instructions more than my own body. It's my responsibility to make yoga a good experience for me. If I can't do low boat or crow pose or the forward fold, it's okay, and I should adjust the poses according to what feels good in my body.
But I haven't. I've just listened to her instructions and looked at what she's doing and expected myself to be able to do exactly the same.
So the way I see it, there are two options:
- Quit yoga, go back to running, and see if I feel better.
- Continue yoga, but with a different instructor, or better yet, alone, without an instructor.
Option 1 attracts me because the psychological benefits I thought I got from yoga in the beginning are long gone now. And I really need the psychological benefits now. So I guess I'll go for a run tomorrow morning; I can always come back to freestyle yoga later if I want to.
A final word: try yoga, but listen to your body, and if something doesn't work, change it. See what happens.