What feels like a necessary waiting phase

. 1 min read

Hello -

if you've ever felt like not doing anything, yet simultaneously had a ton of ideas, yet couldn't bring yourself to working on them, because there was a wall or a veil or a fog between you and the action, you've probably experienced a necessary waiting phase. For the lack of a better word.

You know, on some level, that it's not depression, or sadness, or anhedonia, or even boredom. That level is the unconsciousness telling you to rest, gather strength, because soon enough the skies will open and a grand idea will descend from heavens to you and you'll feel so drawn to it that you know this is it, this is the work, this is the task, and working on it doesn't feel like work at all, because you've been in the zone for the past 14 hours without tiring or eating.

Depression is different. Depression is hopelessness. But this isn't it. This is something else. You feel like something's coming, you're waiting for it, and it's okay to have to wait because it'll be worth waiting for.

Boredom and sadness are also different. Your head is buzzing. Your thoughts are racing a hundred miles an hour and you're exhausted to keep up with them. You know eventually they'll reach a cliff with a splendid view and you'll see where you ended up, you see the task, it's right there, and there's the path. But you're not there yet. It's still coming. All you can do is take the back seat and wait for the run to reach the point.

Relax. Take some me time. Rest. You'll need plenty of energy when the task finally presents itself -

because when it does, you'll get no rest, and there's no turning back.