I sometimes dislike myself. (A stronger verb exists, but I don't want to use it because of the negative connotations and because I don't want to let my mind think I'd use such a bad word in regards to myself.) I dislike the way I look, the way I behave, and the way I talk and stand. I also dislike this negative way I think of myself.
If you have these feelings about yourself as well, let me tell you: it doesn't have to be this way. Because I figured it out. I know why you dislike yourself, and I know how you can turn the tables.
Here's the thing:
You dislike yourself because what you put out is in conflict with what you have inside.
As in: how you behave, how you talk, does not represent the person you are. But who would act differently from who they are?
EVERYONE.
Anyone who wants to be accepted, loved, valued, respected, feared - anyone who wants specific things from other people - will alter their behavior in a way they deem effective to achieve the desired results.
I'm here to tell you it's not worth it.
You pretending to be someone you're not will not get people to accept/love/value/respct/fear you. All you'll achieve is your own dislike towards yourself.
For example, let's say you're an alpha, but you fear you being independent and taking control and following your own vision instead that of others pushes people away. This fear is in contradiction with your alpha identity. Embrace that you're an alpha, and let go of the fear that didn't feel right. You might push people away, but that's not something an alpha cares about, so it's okay. The people who truly value your vision will stay.
Align what you put out with what you have in, and start liking and respecting yourself again. It's the only way to yield the same treatment from others.
RK