The biggest takeaway I got from reading Oren Klaff earlier this year was that in a negotiation, you gain the upper hand by not being the one who needs the deal. If you manage to show your indifference, even your desire to be somewhere else, the other party begins to want to earn your desire. But if you feel like you need the deal, even if you try to keep this feeling hidden, it'll show, and you'll seem pathetic and small and you'll lose the deal because the other party won't respect you.
This is game, and it doesn't only work in relationships; it works everywhere where people are involved. It's human nature to dislike people who want you, who want something out of you, or who need you. I have no idea why, but that's how it works.
As sad as it all sounds, acknowledging it allows you to take advantage of it and reap the benefits of acting against your human nature:
Don't need anything or anyone, and everything and everyone will come to you.
Stoic indifference and the backwards law, at their finest!
(Whether you can actually convince yourself that you need absolutely nothing is another matter.)
RK
