My old fear of life raises its head

. 2 min read

Remember when I said I would be willing to spend all my money to make this year the best ever?

Well yeah. Turns out I can't just decide that I'll have this mentality every day, all year, without any resistance from my old mentality, the fear of life.

Don't get me wrong - I've been on a roll for weeks now. So perhaps I've become complacent with the progress I've made in rewiring my brain, thinking I don't need to challenge it anymore to enforce the new wiring.

But then this morning happened.

I logged onto my bank account to make sure I have enough money at hand to buy some bookshelves from IKEA and saw that the bank had increased its monthly costs. It wasn't a big increase, a few bucks, but immediately my old mentality raised its head.

You know, the mentality that I should save time and resources while waiting for death, instead of making use of those resources and living fully.

Suddenly, the IKEA bookshelf was "too expensive", and I should dead all unnecessary bank accounts and websites and everything that creates even the smallest expense.

I got so afraid to buy that bookshelf, even though just a couple days earlier I was planning, without any resistance or mental discomfort, to buy a sofa that cost four times the bookshelf.

So what did I do? How did I release the tension? And what can you do in a situation like this?

I admitted I was scared, and then talked myself through the fear. I reassured myself, out loud, that I had plenty of money, and I wouldn't notice any amount I would spend on the bookshelf or on the bank account. I reminded myself that good decisions come from a place of abundance and love, not from scarcity and fear. I took a mental step back and observed my surroundings as if they were a 2D projection. I acknowledged that to beat the fear and the resistance, I should run straight at them and take them on courageously.

Here's a cheat sheet:

  1. Accept that you're scared and realize that this is an opportunity to grow.
  2. Reassure yourself of your resources.
  3. Remind yourself: abundance and love over scarcity and fear.
  4. Take a mental step back and look at the world as 2D.
  5. Decide to grow your courage by running straight at the fear.

Be grateful for every battle: they are valuable chances to teach your brain not to fear the wrong things.


Photo by Santiago Lacarta on Unsplash